|My last few reviews have all been five stars– probably because I’m excited to talk about books I love–so today I thought I’d talk about one that was less than stellar.
It’s a little different than the normal fictional books that I review here, but it is on relationships, and this month the month of hearts and candy so this is a good opportunity to bring it up.
So without further ado, here is the review (I didn’t mean for that to be a cheesy rhyme 😛 ).
This book had some good information but their classification of men and women is a bit too cliché.
I like their advice on communication and overcoming problems. They suggest that couples make a list of things in life that are important to them: successful careers, having a clean house, maintaining a healthy body, spending time with children, alone time, time with one another, hobbies, having a nice car, etc…. Then each person would give it number from one to three. One meaning it’s very important and three meaning it isn’t. This is very helpful in seeing the differences and similarities in what you and your partner value in life so you can see where conflicts may arise.
The part I didn’t like about the book was the way that men were portrayed as neanderthals who could think of nothing but sex and how women were portrayed as mindless creatures who rambled on and on about nothing.
While I do agree that men and women have differences, they were exaggerated in this book to the point of being insulting. Men, just because they are men, are not incapable of conversing. Women, just because they are women, don’t constantly feel the need to jabber endlessly.
There are plenty of men who talk more than women and plenty women who don’t de-stress by immediately getting on the phone to gab to their friends while cleaning something (an actual example from the book).
Some women (me included) would rather retreat to a “man cave” and not be bothered while working on a project. Because (guess what?) some women are introverts!
They also seemed to think women get their self worth from their kids and the condition of their house. As a woman who plans to never have children and who feels a lot more satisfaction after writing a blog post or finishing a painting than cleaning the house, I just can’t relate to that, nor do I think that every woman sees home and kids as the ultimate goal in her life.
I’m not even sure I buy into the whole “waffle box” and “spaghetti” thing. They say that women are great multitask and will have no problem doing several things at once, but I can’t stand being interrupted and want to do one thing at a time and finish whatever I’m working on before moving to the next task.
Women are also supposed to jump topics in conversation more while men want to focus on one thing at a time. This sounds more like an extrovert/introvert type thing. Extroverts typically cover a broad amount of topics while introverts will talk about one topic for hours.
I feel that they are “dumbing down” men and women by lumping them into stereotypical categories rather than helping them.
This book has some good exercises, like making a list of free ways to make your partner feel loved and the one I mentioned above, but if you are looking to understand your partner better, it would be more helpful for each of you to take the Myers Brigg personality test and discuss your results.