Magical daydreams in Antarctica. There are tweets on my account about magical daydreams in Antarctica. Please disregard them. They aren’t from me. They are from that annoying bird that showed up last week. Please don’t unfollow me. I’ll figure out a way to keep him from doing it again.
Why would you want to do that?
Yes, me again. I told you I would help you out, and I don’t go back on my word.
I never asked for your help. You rudely barged into my post last week and told me–not asked–that you were going to start posting ridiculous lines on my Twitter account.
I don’t care what adjective you put in front of it. The lines aren’t mine and they should be. And *cough* they are ridiculous.
People hire people to tweet for them all the time. It’s called being famous. Not that you are, but with me handling your tweets for you, you can at least enjoy the illusion that you are famous. And *cough* they are brilliant.
I don’t want to give the illusion that I’m famous, feel famous, or be famous. I want to be the only one tweeting on my account. And *cough, cough* they really are ridiculous.
Sounds like you have some control issues. You may want to see a psychiatrist about that. And *cough* do you really think coughing more times makes what you say more believable?
See a psychiatrist about control issues? If there is any reason for me to see a psychiatrist, it’s because I’m talking to a symbol of a little blue bird. And *cough, cough, cough* I think you are trying to change the subject because you know I’m right.
Hmm…yeah you might want to get that checked. You probably should get off Twitter and WordPress for a while too. Someone as crazy as you shouldn’t be influencing people. And *cough* are you really going to keep this going? How old are you?
Ha! I’m not going anywhere. You just want to take over my blog as well as my twitter account. Not happening. And *cough* you started it.
Please. I don’t want your silly blog. Keeping up with all those posts is too much work. Why do that when I can jump in at random times? And *cough* I estimate that your mental age must be about five. Did you really just play the ‘you started it’ card? It wasn’t even an accurate accusation. You’re the one who started having a coughing fit.
*deep breath* Look, I don’t want a fight. I just want you to leave my blog posts and my twitter account alone.
You just don’t know how badly you need help. After you finished The Hashna Stone, your readers had nothing else to look forward to. They were bored. I was bored.
My readers weren’t bored. They love me. And if you were so bored, then why did you keep coming to my blog?
You forced me to, remember? You put me beside every one of you little ‘please follow me on twitter, I’m desperate’ messages and the only thing to do all day was read your posts. Are you just as desperate for blog readers as you are for twitter followers. Because if you are, I know a couple of other images you can put at the end of your posts. They might actually enjoy your attempt at writing. Oh, and *cough* your readers love you? That sounds a bit narcissistic. Would you like me to schedule that psychiatrist appointment for you? I’d hate for you to forget.
There were so many insults in that paragraph, I didn’t know where to begin…
I’m good, aren’t I?
You’re bad. And mean, and rude.
Great comeback. Why don’t you add “you’re a poopy-head” while you’re at it.
*grinds teeth* Look blue bird. You’ve had your fun. You’ve paid me back for forcing you to read my posts. You’ve made me look like an idiot on twitter–
I made you look clever.
Can you please leave me alone now? Go post nonsense on someone else’s twitter.
First, I don’t post nonsense. Second, I don’t think it’s safe to leave you alone. Not unless you promise to see a psychiatrist .
I’m not seeing a psychiatrist.
Then I’m not leaving you alone. Someone needs to look after you.
If anyone is crazy, it’s you. You tweeted about magical daydreams in Antarctica. How sane does that sound?
*clicks tongue* “First sign that patient is indeed crazy; they think everyone else is crazy.
I’m not crazy!
You write don’t you?
Why do I feel like I shouldn’t answer this?
You don’t have to answer it. All these posts on your blog answers for you.
Why do you sound like you’re trying to frame me for a murder?
Since you write, that would make you a writer, wouldn’t it?
So, you’re crazy.
How does that make me crazy? That doesn’t even make sense.
Well then, you are saying that you don’t make sense. You wrote a post called Writers are Insane.
It was a joke. Wait, how did you see that? I wrote that before I started putting you in my posts.
Let’s just say, I’ve been browsing.
I thought you didn’t like my blog.
Browsing for blackmail purposes. It most certainly wasn’t enjoyable.
*steam coming out of ears* Alright blue bird. I’ve had enough of your insults.
Alright girl human. I’ve had enough of your unappreication.
That wouldn’t fix the problem.
Then what will?
You to appreciate me of course.
That won’t be happening anytime soon.
I guess I’ll be around for a while then.
I guess you won’t. I’m ending this post right now.
Oh good! I’ve got a great new line to give everyone.
I’m ending this post. Not you.
Alright everyone, sorry to end this post so abruptly, but I’m sure that saucy little bird was giving you a headache anyway. Hopefully next week I’ll have a better post for you to read. I’m sure if we don’t give the bird attention, he’ll go away.
Anyway, thanks for sticking it out through this painful post. See ya next week!
If you come up with a story, poem, photograph, or tweet using dragons with computers as a prompt, I’ll retweet you!
No, he won’t.
Link your story or poem and use the hashtag #bluebirdtweets and twitter handle @meganbedwel so I’ll know what to retweet.
Don’t do it.
Do it, and show her what kind of genius stuff you can come up with!
There are 2 things to do after you put your post out there:
- Put a link to your post in the comments along with the title to your post and I’ll list your link in the next blog post.
- Tweet a link to your post using the hashtag #bluebirdtweets and twitter handle @meganbedwel and I’ll retweet!”
Use shy zombies as a prompt for a story, poem, photograph, and create a post on you blog.
*(If you don’t have time to create a post and still want to join, write a tweet inspired by the prompt and use my Twitter handle and I’ll retweet you.)