Writers are Insane

We all know that writers are just a bit insane. I mean they make people up, hear voices in their head, and have a mental breakdown because they can’t figure out how to get Sindy-loo-snoo (their made-up person) out of the burning building surrounded by evil sorcerers, surrounded by a zombie army, surrounded by spaceships filled with giant lobster aliens.

Yeah, these writer people ARE insane.

So, for you entertainment (and for my own amusement), I’ve made a list comparing writers with the definition of insanity.

Wikipedia’s definition of insanity: a spectrum of behaviors characterized by certain abnormal mental or behavioral patterns. Insanity may manifest as violations of societal norms, including a person becoming a danger to themselves or others.

 

People who are insane writers have abnormal mental patterns.

  • Normal people listen to the radio while driving. Writers don’t need a radio to keep them entertained; they have the voices in their head for that.

 

  • Normal people have social interactions with people and think of them as, well, social interactions. Writers have social interaction with people and think of them as building a database to use to create new characters (a.k.a. little minions to their bidding).

 

  • Normal people stay in the kitchen while cooking. Writers take off running to save their imaginary character from the burning building surrounded by evil sorcerers, surrounded by…well you know…and let their chili boil over and their cornbread burst into flames.

If the above examples don’t convince you that writers have abnormal mental patterns, take a look at this.

This is what a writer’s mind looks like when they are working on their story. Actually, this is what a writer’s mind always looks like because they are always thinking about their story.

If this doesn’t look like an abnormal mental pattern, I don’t know what does.

 

People who are insane writers violate societal norms.

Our society does not think that these are normal behaviors.

  • refusing to go out on the weekends because it’s the only time you can write massive amounts of words

 

  • using words like plot, character development, and view point in normal conversation

 

  • shutting yourself in your basement for an entire day so you can carry on conversations between people who aren’t there and record them

 

  • campaigning for schools and businesses to shut down in November for NaNoWriMo

hunger games

 

Sorry writers. You’ve violated all these.

 

People who are insane writers are a danger to themselves and others.

You may not believe these writers can be dangerous. I mean, sure, they are a bit strange and given to erratic behavior, but they aren’t actually harming anyone.

Let me enlighten you before your innocent delusion puts you in danger of being harmed by a insane person writer.

Here’s a little story to illustrate.

Beth, a writer, gets on her computer to begin working toward her word-count goal for the day. Inspiration hits and words flow from her fingers like rain drops from storm clouds. She sits there for hours not aware that her stomach is growling and her throat is dry. Thanks to her delusion of a would and people that don’t exist, she is slowly starving and becoming dehydrated.

Beth is so enthralled that she doesn’t realize her three-year-old has been entertaining himself by coloring on the walls and wrapping everything in toilet paper, while her husband (who doesn’t have that wonderful whirlwind of inspiration to sustain him) has fainted from hunger.

Never put your guard down when you are around a writer. They won’t stop at putting themselves in danger. You are a small sacrifice to pay for their story.

11hdnz

If none of what I’ve just said convinces you that writers are completely insane, here’s one that admits to it.

 

If you or anyone you know is thinking of becoming a writer, please save yourself and them from this madness known as writing. Spread the word. Don’t be responsible for flaming cornbread or three-year-olds coloring on the walls.

Be sane. Don’t write.

 

 


 

 

I hope you all enjoyed this post, and that I’ve encouraged you to stop writing. 😉 Let me know what you think of this post and what your favorite insane writer habit is.

 

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Writers are Insane

  1. What if the crayon-writing on the wall is abstractly attractive? And maybe burned cornbread tastes better? I guess my most insane habit is living in the tension created in making writing a priority. I say I’ve been writing all morning, and I think no one is impressed. Or I pull the car over to the side of the road to write something that came to me that I don’t want to forget. (I won’t admit to drafting while driving.) This is why I’m late for what I’m heading for, yet I doubt I’ll have any credibility in explaining.

    That and all the things I don’t pay attention to (like cooking) or don’t want to pay attention to (like bills) make my kind of insanity. Confessed. Convicted.

    So you’re insane, too? Makes me want to rewrite the Dickinson poem about nobody:

    I’m insane! Are you insane, too?
    Don’t tell! they’d advertise–you know!

    Or something like that. Wonderfully clever, humorous, and resonating post, Megan. A comfort in the storm of normality.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Driving is a great time to get ideas. I like to think about my story while I’m driving. I’ll go over what needs to happen in the next scene, or how the ending should go, or sometimes my brain gets distracted and tries to come up with a whole new story other than my WIP (Bad brain…no treats for you). The only other time my brain is so full of ideas is when I’m trying to sleep. 🙂
      Yes, people don’t understand why writing is so important to us. You were late because of what? You spent hours doing what? Yeah, some of us like to write. It’s like how some like to play videogames. No one gives them a hard time if they spend hours doing that.
      Yes! Just a bit insane. 😉 Great rewrite of the poem. 🙂

      Like

  2. I see often, writers writing about their dreams. I seem to remember only parts of my dreams, some interesting parts at that, but the who’s, what’s ,and why’s always seem to be missing. I’m guessing it’s Dreamheimers due to advancing age. I am a Poe fan, upon his death it was reported by one newspaper that he died of “Congestion of the Brain.” Now that’s insane. Poe is buried 117 miles away in Baltimore. Quotes the Rooster “evermore.” Good job Megan!

    Like

    1. I haven’t used a dream to write a story either. Well there was that one time when I was about 15 and wrote my dream down because I thought it might make a good story, but I never went back to make it into anything later.
      I think when you get an idea from a dream, it isn’t necessarily a complete story. It may be a scene, or character, or mood that inspires you to create a full story.
      My dream was of a brother and sister who get caught in a story on the beach and end up in a different world. That’s it (and that’s the most I’ve had happen in a dream in a while).
      If I were going to make it into a story, I would need to figure out why they were on the beach, how they were transported to another world, who the villain was….basically, I still would have to come up with a whole plot and cast of characters.
      I said all that to say, you can still use what’s in you dream, even if you don’t remember all of it.
      I know, I’m so long winded. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is great Megan. I talk to myself in the car. Either as myself talking to a character. Or as the character belting out some dialogue.

    Now, in my car I have a camera that records audio. My husband downloaded it the other day and randomly heard me telling a guy called Andy (a character) that I didn’t care if he was heartbroken he was going to participate in the massacre whether he wanted to or not! Thank goodness he knows I’m nuts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha…That’s great! Hilarious! I’m glad there aren’t any camera’s around when I’m really getting into my story. Although, once when I was about 9 or 10 years old, I was washing dishes and totally into this story I’d made up. I was talking out loud as one of as the main character. She wanted to do something the other character didn’t want her to, so I was basically having an argument with the air.
      I heard something behind me, and turned to find my mom leaning in the doorway, face red from holding in laughter, which she immediately let burst out when I saw her.
      I started being more careful with my impromptu character vocalizations after that. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post! And some terrifyingly true writer facts.
    On my way to work, I often pass a building in which I’ve based a large part of a novel, and wondr if my characters are inside and what they’re doing. A bit of me even believes they’re really inthere. 🙂

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    1. I can totally related! There’s this house in my neighborhood that is by a graveyard and surrounded by woods. I made up a story based on the house and area, so every time I pass it, I can kind of feel my characters.
      This writer’s life is crazy! But I love it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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