I’m finally going to answer the two questions you’ve all been waiting for me to answer. I’ve really shirked my duty as a blogger by ignoring these questions, and for that I am deeply, greatly, sorrowfully sorry. I will remedy this right away, starting by listing the questions:
What exactly is blogging, and why am I doing it? (What? None of you asked that?! Well for gosh sake, don’t let anyone know. I have a whole post planned out!)
Let’s try this again.
What exactly is blogging, and why am I doing it? I’m so glad you asked! (See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?) I’ll start with the first question because, well, it’s first (duh).
Definition of blogging:
1. Reading other’s blogs and wishing you had a tenth of their talent.
2. Hitting refresh twenty-five times a minute as you look hopefully at the comments button. (Somebody out there wants to talk to you…Right?)
3. Resisting the urge to create fictitious WordPress accounts so you can leave comments on your forlorn, lonesome blog.
4. Sharing the story you wrote about a fire-breathing elven lord, a hideous mermaid goddess, and a goblin general who love tea and vanilla frosting with a group of people you’ve never met. (What were you thinking?! I mean you wouldn’t share this with your best friend…or mom. Can you say awkward?)
5. Staring at a blank screen until your desperate mind feels sorry for you and projects paragraphs of beautifully written words into the space under “New Post.”
6. Realizing that all those beautifully written words are a hallucination and you should go to bed before the fire-breathing eleven lord appears behind you.
7. Banging your head against the keyboard. (Seriously. Your forehead will come up with a more comprehensible post then your wandering thoughts and ADD afflicted brain.)
(Step one to becoming a successful blogger. Begin practicing at once for renowned blogging fame!)
I know, I know. All of you can’t wait to start blogging now! Oh, I guess not. That list was pretty dismal.
So, if blogging is like that, then why am I doing it?
Which is the second question you asked. (Shh…play along). Why am I blogging when I could be doing so many other things? Why am I not playing videogames, spending all my money at the mall, or hanging out with friends?
You want the truth?
I don’t play videogames because I somehow manage to make my character look like a drunken energy bunny scared for his life, I don’t have money to spend at the mall because I live under a bridge with a miserly family of trolls, and my friends won’t speak to me after I showed them the elf/mermaid/goblin story (there is a good reason for sharing these things with strangers).
Pretty sad right? There are tears welling up in your eyes right now. It’s ok, you can let them fall (and before the moment passes…. I’m accepting donations for my Spend Money at The Mall fund…I promise I wont let the trolls get to it).
All of those unfortunate reasons are more than enough for turning to the blogging world for solace, but my lack of fun things to do isn’t the only reason I started blogging.
So prepare yourself. Here comes more reasons!
(That’s not what I said, but now that you mention it…I love memes! And there are more coming 🙂 )
I started blogging because I thought it would be good motivation. I’ve always loved reading and always daydreamed about one day writing stories of my own. If I had an audience, I knew it would motivate me to write. And guess what? It worked! Like a magic, stories sprang from blank word documents, car rides, and tormented moments of dishwashing and bathroom scouring. Simply knowing that I had someone to read my fanciful craziness kept my imagination churning and my fingertips flying.
Besides the need for a kick in the pants, I wanted to blog so I could share my stories with others. I mean, what good is a story if it isn’t shared? It may as well not exist. I started Invisible World for all of you. I’m here to tickle your imagination, get the gears in your head turning, and make tears slide down your cheeks. (And hopefully make you laugh too…I’m not completely heartless, even if I do live with trolls.)
So now that I’ve answered those two questions, I’m back in your good graces and no longer have to feel guilty. I guess I’m done then. See ya later people. I’m out of here!
Oh, I did promise more memes didn’t I? Ok, ok, I’ll give you one, but then I’m leaving. You’ve taken up enough of my time. (Did I just say that out loud? Now you know the real reason I’m blogging. I’m too rude for people to like me in the world of human interaction).
(The REAL reason I don’t have friends)
Disclaimer: I never wrote a story about a fire-breathing elven lord, a hideous mermaid goddess, and a goblin general who love tea and vanilla frosting, so I still have friends. Also, I do not live under a bridge, and it is questionable as to whether I live with trolls or not. And do not believe what was said about my videogame skills. I’m the Jackie Chan of videogames.